{In~Across} Australia, {it is estimated~it is believed~there are} between {22-40%~22 and 40%} of married men and between {11-25%~11 and 25%} of married women who {have been~are} involved in an affair at {least once~any one time}. On the Gold Coast, with {its~a} {large~transient} population and {facade of a glamourous~a glittery} lifestyle on offer, the {estimated figures~figures} are considerably higher.
Secrecy and {deception~minimisation} {are what it’s all about~abound} {when~while} an affair is {occurring~taking place~happening}, {and so~and therefore~so} {if~when} {it’s~it is} discovered, the betrayal of {trust~the trust} in {a~the} relationship is the most difficult issue for a partner to {cope~come to terms} with.
Can a relationship or marriage survive an affair? {A~Yes, a} marriage or relationship can {definitely~certainly} be {helped~repaired} after an affair, but it {will~does} take {much~a lot of} work by both partners, particularly the partner who has cheated. Marriage Counselling over at least the medium term is {essential~an absolute must} {to help~in order to} {restore~rebuild} {trust~the trust} and the relationship.
{Marriage~Relationship~The marriage} counselling {must~should~needs to} {focus on~discuss~look at~follow~address} the following {five~5} {issues~points} in order to fully recover from an affair:
1. The affair must {end~stop}. The partner {involved in~having} the extra relationship must commit to having no more contact, in any form, if the marriage is to survive and rebuild.
2. The partner who has been {deceived~hurt} {needs to~must} be {allowed~given} the {chance~opportunity} to express their {feelings~emotions} {and~while} {it’s~it is} {necessary~important} for the affair partner to listen, accept and validate those feelings, and also to reassure their partner that he or she {wants and values~does want and value} {their~this} relationship.
3. The partner who {was~has been} involved in the affair must take {responsibility~on the responsibility} to rebuild {trust~the trust} by being {honest~transparent} and accountable. This means {that comings~comings} and goings are knowable at {any time~all times} and they {are~be} willing to have phone and emails checked at any time. This will need to continue for as long as it takes for the partner to feel that the trust has been rebuilt, {usually~often} up to {approx.~about} {six~6} months.
4. {Uncover~Discover} the {fundamental~underlying} {cause~causes~meaning}. Both partners {must~do need to} explore why {the~this} affair {happened~has happened} so that it doesn’t {occur again~reoccur} in the future.
5. {Forgiveness~Forgive}. {For~In order for} this to {happen~occur}, the partner who has had the affair needs to {be~feel} {absolutely~deeply} sorry for what he or she has done, as well as {have~feel} true empathy for {the pain~the hurt~what} the partner has {experienced~been put through}.
{Added to these~In addition~Also}, there {must~needs to} be a commitment and {planning~hope} for a {more shared~better} future together. Only then is it possible for the other partner to be able to forgive {completely~fully}.
Looking for marriage counselling in your city? For marriage counselling Gold Coast or marriage counselling Melbourne, contact Hart Relationship Counselling today. HRC16AUG2011